What is vs How we wish it to be !

My husband just spent 3 weeks in quarantine. He travelled back from Europe into Hong Kong, where we currently live, and the current rules require him to complete 3 weeks quarantine in a hotel. 

This meant that for 3 weeks he was confined to a 100 Sq foot space, with no access to the outside and not able to leave his hotel room for the entire length of the quarantine.

During the time that he was in quarantine, I had a number of calls from family and friends concerned about his welfare; "was he going stir crazy being stuck within the four walls of his hotel room?"...... “how could he possibly be keeping his sanity!”

Well the interesting thing is that my response was always the same; “ he is doing absolutely fine, he has Wifi, his work and a view, and he's coping really well” 

Which was then met with… “how could he be, knowing he is there for 3 weeks and can’t even open a window?”

Well this is what I learnt about how he was making it work. 

Because I could easily make up my own ideas based on my understanding of the principles, as to how he was making it work, but I also wanted to find out from him, how he was making it work for himself.Many of us, would get frustrated, anxious, angry, bored, being confined to a room for that length of time. Each day would be a constant reminder that we were “locked up”, not being allowed to leave our room. Having food left at the room door each day for each meal and no access to fresh air (even the windows taped up!). 

So our mindset going into the quarantine period would be one of lack. Thinking of all the things we could not do, all the things we were being denied access to, all the people we could not see.. let alone the unfairness of it all…. 3 weeks in quarantine….. ridiculous!

But for my husband, this was not his thinking. He went into the whole experience, looking forward to the things he could do once in quarantine; watching those TV programs that I find too violent and therefore never gets to watch at home, reading books that he never got time to do at home, the endless list of work projects that had been forever on the "to do" list, getting up in the morning without having being woken by the kids.

But it's important to note that it's not the specific list of things to do, like the list my husband created, that helps us to be with any given situation. It is that we see situations as "what is" vs wishing for "what could be" and getting frustrated. 

That's exactly how my husband looked at his time in quarantine. 

Of course the thinking arose of how much he wanted to be with the family or to go for a run and enjoy the outdoors. But those thoughts came and went. He did not entertain them and therefore did not get into that rabbit hole of thinking we can so often do of wishing things to be a different way. 

It's always about working with "what is" vs constantly fighting for "how we would like"  life to be

And interestingly enough, my husband has not read about Sydney Banks or anything about this understanding. 

He just has an innate sense of wellbeing. 

Like all of us. 

Would love to hear what you see in this conversation. 

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Till next time

Ruth